LONELINESS 

"To have a good friend, you must be one"

--Emerson

Deep loneliness can feel very painful, especially when you have convinced yourself that there is nothing you can do about it. In the 90's I went through a divorce, not a painful one, but still a divorce. I went back to live with my mother for a short time, and then I was joyous over the fact that I could qualify for a condo on my own with my teacher's salary. It was strange at first, living by myself for the first time in my life, and I was in my forties.

It was about that same time that I found Rev Heather Clark (before she became Rev. Dr.) at the Center for Joyful Living, in Bonita, California. Sitting through the first service, I found a deep feeling of love, I cried through the next two services, and I felt like I was like had come home. I took classes and went to workshops, and gradually discovered that I had found many like-minded friends. In one of the classes I took, I heard the phrase "You are loved, loveable and loving". I discovered that I was never fully alone because Spirit was always with me. I discovered a deep sense of calm, and I fell in love with myself, as well as with God..

I decided I wanted to meet more people, and so I started thinking of things I had always wanted to do. Writing, dancing and getting back into theatre were a few of those things. I took a swing dance class by myself. It was so much fun! Every three minutes we switched partners. Some dancers knew more than me and I could learn from them; others new less than me and I got to help them. When I wanted to see a movie I would call a few friends, and sometimes they said yes, but even if I got no takers, I would go to the movie alone (what a great way to treat myself)!

Once I discovered that God moved in, through, and as me, I knew that I was brave and bold. When I embraced that I was loved, loveable and loving, I opened myself to more chances to share the love with more of my friends and family. Of course, finding a faith that really resonated with me didn't hurt either. Here's to loving friends and family that I can share with! 

"We can hear the words, "our thoughts create our reality"; or, as the Bible says, "It is done unto you as you believe". Intellectually we can accept that , but sometimes it takes the toil and trouble of acquiring it. So often something in our lives is missing; We may be walking a path with blinders on and what we need is within our grasp, but the blinders are masking it. "Life's Garden Grows",                  --Sandra Lindsey Smith

How about you? What happens to you when you feel lonely? Does it cripple you, or are you able to find the love in you and bless the situation?Do you put some marvelous music on, do you pull our your notebook and journal, do you remember to revel in the silence and perhaps meditate? Whatever you do, remember that Spirit is just a prayer away?          Love and light,                                                                                                          Rev Sandy Smith


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