AM I OLD ENOUGH TO KNOW BETTER, OR AM I TOO YOUNG TO UNDERSTAND?

"Children begin by loving their parents; as they grow older, they judge them; sometimes they forgive them."    --Oscar Wilde

Perhaps when you were young you heard the same thing I did, at one time or another.  “You ought to know better. Imagine doing something like that at your age.” Or, when you asked to do something or go somewhere you were told, “I don’t think so, you’re just not old enough.”

Okay, which is it? Am I too old, or not old enough? I remember, all through high school, that my mother would tell me, as I left for a party, “If you are going to be later than you originally told me you would be, call me and let me know.”  Then, time after time I would call to say I was going to be late she would say, “No, I’m coming to pick you up now.”  Finally, in my senior year I voiced my opinion, “Mom, you have always told me that I could call you if I thought I was going to be later than I thought, but you never follow through.  Do you really want to know where I am, or do you want me to just stay out later and not let you know? She just smiled and said, "Just tell me if you will be late and I will realize you are old enough to stay safe".

My husband Gary went back to live with his mom in his thirties. One night he stayed out all night and when she confronted him about it, he said, "Mom, I'm a grown man. I should be able to stay out all night if I want." and she said, "I'm not saying you can't stay out. I just want you to let me know where you are so that I have a point of reference to start hunting for you if you have been gone a few days."

No matter what age we are, our parents seem to love us enough to care about our well-being.

"Stop complaining. Stop telling others of your unhappiness. Find things to praise. Start seeking the good points in your relatives, friends, and co-workers. There are some good points in these people ready and waiting for you to find them."     --Raymond Charles Barker, The Power of Decision

Are there deep truths in some of the things your parents did or said when you were growing up? Do you share those nuggets of knowledges with your children or the children you encounter in life? Hopefully you find value in some of these things and pass them on; and hopefully you change some of the things you felt were unfair about the way you were raised.  The important thing to remember is that your parents did the best they knew how at the time they were raising you (myself included).  Sometimes it's also evident to us as adults, how right they were in advising our lives all those years.

Love and light,

Sandy Smith